==>

KARKAT: FUVK I CAN FEEL MYSELF SOBRING UP I NEED TO DRINK MORE AGAIN
DAVE: you feel more sober….do you feel unnervingly joyus perhaps??
KARKAT: NO BWCAYSE I IMEDIATLY STAETED DRINKINF AGAIN I AM 9NE STEP AHESD
DAVE: i should not have suggested that the alcohol might be the reason youre not fully trickstered
DAVE: you are going to poison yourself
KARKAT: ID MUVH RATHER GO OYT LIKE THSI THAN LET THS TRICLSYER CRAP WIN
DAVE: you would rather *die of alcohol poisoning* than just be a happy little gremlin for a bit
KARKAT: OK IT DOSE SOYND A LITLE BIR RIDICULUS WGEN YIU PUT IT TAHT WAY YES
DAVE: yeah exactly
DAVE: dude just gimme that vodka
KARKAT: NO FVCL OFF